Following Louis Theroux’s documentary Inside the Manosphere, there was a lot of buzz last month. Many young people are increasingly coming into contact with this harmful manosphere content. This is partly because the ‘third place’ is being lost.
Three social circles
People have three social zones they inhabit: the first is your home with family or roommates, the second is your work or studies, and the third (also known as the ‘third place‘) is the social zone beyond that. This can be anything from community centers to your sports club or our growth classes. Here, through social contact, you build resilience against radicalization by meeting people with different worldviews than your own.
When you know people personally, you understand their perspectives. This makes you less likely to get swept up in the idea that “the other side” is evil, that they want to steer the world in a bad direction, or that they are all stupid. Moreover, the lifestyle promoted by manosphere influencers looks less attractive to young people because you are more satisfied with your own life.
Personal experience
This is something I’ve struggled with too. When I was fifteen, I spent a lot of time alone in my room. I watched a lot of YouTube, and through a video of someone who was against trans women in sports competitions, I started getting more and more manosphere content in my feed.
That spoke to the dissatisfaction and insecurity I felt about my life. They told me that I was right to feel bad. They also gave me an enemy to blame.
Thanks to my best friend, I managed to escape this. He recognized the views I held, challenged them, and introduced me to perspectives I had never heard online. This made me realize more and more how shallow and negative the manosphere is. To see that, I needed someone who could give me that push to really think about the ideas behind the videos I was watching.
Connection
For many young people, school friends aren’t the solution because many male friends share similar views. Friendships there often arise from having the same ideals and worldviews. In a third place, like a sports club, you meet people you connect with through the sport you play together.
They might have completely different opinions. By seeking connection with others in real life, you broaden your own thinking and learn to have empathy for others. This doesn’t happen in the manosphere, because everyone has similar ideas.
Closing
The manosphere fills a gap. So, boys aren’t bad; they just find something there that is hard to find in real life. A community in a third place where their sense of powerlessness is taken seriously and can be discussed. A place where you can connect with others and also have difficult conversations.
Would you like to have a deeper conversation in a third place with other people? Then visit a growth class! Check out our agenda here. 💚
